Sophia's Blog

Sophia's Blog

Improve your advice skills Week 21

I (30F) live in a fantasy world (married to 30M) Need Advice

I have always had an active imagination and a rich fantasy life. It helps that I like to write and I’m able to bring a lot of that to my stories.

But I also have a rich fantasy life that I keep to myself as sort of an escape from reality. My therapist wants me to unpack this a little and distance myself from it. And I guess I’m looking for a little advice.

For background, I’ve been married for 5 years and together 12. My husband is a good man, kind and loving. We have one child (4F). We both work full-time, and we have dates and times together. In many ways I’m satisfied.

But at the core, my husband and I are different people. He is not passionate and not interested in the same things I am for the most part. I also have little interest in his hobbies. So we both have inner lives that are separate from the other.

I’ll make up stories to get myself through the day. Like I’ll see a stranger at the library and I imagine a meeting of the minds relationship with this complete stranger.

Or I’ll leave home at night and go for drives and listen to romantic songs and put myself in the lyrics. I thumb through travel websites and imagine entire lives in those places.

My therapist has been gently telling me that this might be unhealthy behavior and that I should give more thought to be present in the world. Anyone else dealing with a similar dilemma? Any advice?

What is the most correct advice?

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